earthnation: people who have the same name as me are competition
badbey: “i can’t believe you came” “that’s what she said”
holdmypurse: welcometothesugarlife: Don’t worry, it’s not your boyfriend I’m after. It’s your dad.
shampained: if i ever get a boyfriend there is a 100% chance i will accidentally call him daddy
raging-woodcock: Girl look at that body, Girl look at that body, Girl look at that body, We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.
sfux: *aggressively deletes selfie*
twerkingdead: *looks in a mirror* you again
when you eat pizza and all the cheese comes off in one bite